Ravings of a Mad Woman

Quote for the day

2007-05-01T20:02:00.000-07:00

"Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized by a sense of Universal responsibility, not only nation to nation and human to human, but also human to other forms of life. "

- Dalai Lama

Yes...I'm a Feminist.

2007-04-27T15:59:00.000-07:00

I get many strange reactions when I say I'm a feminist. First, people usually look at me in a very critical way as if to determine whether I'm a lesbian or not (cause you know you can tell if someone's a lesbian just by looking at her). That's the first assumption...feminist = lesbian. The second assumption is that if I'm a feminist, I hate men. All feminists hate men right...who needs men when you have artificial insemination? Feminist = man-hating lesbian. The third assumption is usually something that revolves around abortion. Either assuming I have had an abortion, plan to have one, or am recruiting women of all ages to have them...you know cause that's how one exercises her right to choose. Feminist = abortion-promoting, man-hating lesbian. Of course there's often a bra-burning joke of some sort and then a lot of awkward silence.
Part of my education has been a personal journey for me to find the words to express the anger that I feel at the way that I am treated because I happen to have been born a female. The stereotypes of what I can and cannot be, the kinds of work I can go into, the assumptions about my intelligence, the belief that if I was ever raped I deserved it, the fact that I must care for others because it is in my "nature" as a woman, etc. The list can go on. I have to get married or I'm assumed to be a lesbian, an old spinster, a bitch or many other lovely names. I can't enjoy sex cause that makes me a whore, but if I don't like it then I'm considered "frigid". I am sexually objectified and my personal space is intruded upon by whistles, stares, and cat-calls everytime I leave my home. I don't feel safe in many spaces at many times because my body could become the site of sexual violence. I can hardly even stop typing the things that I worry about and think about as a woman. My education has given me the words to use to identify and label the ways that I am wronged because I am a woman. But more than that it gave me an even wider scope to see than just my own oppression as a woman. It gave me the ability to recognize, critique, and challenge oppressions that happen across the lines of race, class, and sexuality, as well as gender.
These oppressions, as well as many others, are the center of a feminist outlook. As a feminist, it's not just about looking at how woman are wronged. It's about critically looking at how people who are not white, male, heterosexual, rich, able-bodied, and young are wronged within society and how that discrimination is justified and made to seem normal. I recently came across a quote that really summed up well my feelings on what feminism is.
“Labels circulate all the time in every sphere of our lives, and once more, it all depends on how one uses them. One can use it in an eye-opening way, so that the term "feminist" does not actually only concern women, for example. But it has to do with society in general. So you are not just talking about women, but also about a feminist consciousness that informs both men's and women's actions in daily life. Being a feminist is therefore being a critic of society in its oppressive workings.”
Trinh Mihn-ha
The last sentence is precisely how I view and live out feminism. For me, feminism is an awareness that our society is very oppressive on many levels to many different people, and that every aspect of society needs to be critiqued through that awareness. Because I was raised in this society that normalizes oppression, I must also critique myself to see where I may be oppressing others and myself, either consciously or unconsciously. Feminism is about being aware of what's around me and within me, so that I can recognize and change oppressions that exist there.

Voting time has come again!

2007-04-20T18:24:00.000-07:00

Yet again I request your assistance in helping me attempt to get a photo published. The new categories of JPG magazine are America and Dreamscape. While I am still hunting for that perfect Dreamy photo, I have entered a pic in the America theme. I hope that you will go and vote for me. It'd be awfully kind of you.

A Tribute to Spring

2007-04-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

The Path of the Crazy

2007-04-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

Una persona loca se habla. Una persona sabia se conoce bien.
A crazy person talks to herself. A wise person knows herself well.

It is necessary to be crazy on the path to being wise. In order to know yourself well, you must talk to yourself often. How else will you come to know yourself? And so on my path to wisdom I rant to myself and share it with you.

I'm 25. I am just finishing school, yet I'm going to be continuing school. I don't have my shit together...at all. There is so much I want to do...travel, experience other cultures, see grand things...yet I'm also content to hang out with my friends and play videogames and talk. I try to think of what I really want. If I was dying would I go out and do some drastic, dangerous thing that I had never done before, or would I hole myself up with the people I love most and just sit and talk about them and me and life? Honestly...I think I'd choose to sit with those I love and just be. I would like a life of adventure and traveling, but I don't know if that will really happen. I don't know if I want that lifestyle right now enough to sacrifice the people that I love for it. If we travel and have these grand adventures, I'd miss our nieces’ childhoods, Eden and Cate's childhood and adolescence. I'd miss out on many things in the lives of my friends and family. I'm just not sure it's worth it to me. Also...traveling and having adventures requires a fair amount of planning, money, and effort...things I'm not known to have a lot of.

I'm 25. People tell me that's not old. They say I'm still young and have plenty of time. Yet within the next five years there are a lot of decisions that need to made about starting a family, making a career doing something I enjoy, things I'd like to pursue both with Josh and on my own, etc. Before we decide on those things I need to figure out who I am and what I want. I don't know who I am or what I want. Will I ever know those things...probably not fully, but I'd feel better about moving forward, if I at least had a temporary plan. This is who I am for now and this is what I want for now...With plenty of room for change later.

I'm 25. Life lays out before me and I have no idea what to do with it. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Yet I'm struck with the fact that I don't want life to just happen to me. I want to be an active agent in my own life. I don't need a rigid plan with time schedules and diagrams. I just want a little direction and a little security. I would like to know what I want...to know myself.

Things that make me smile...

2007-03-02T17:42:00.000-08:00

1) A bumper sticker that reads "I'm already against the next war."

2) A spam e-mail whose title reads "How do you flabbergast her?"

"What is flabbergast, anyways?" you may ask. For answers to these kinds of questions, I always turn to the dictionary.
Flabbergast: to overwhelm with shock, surprise, or wonder. Synonyms: Dumbfound and Surprise.
There you have it. Piece of cake. Now go out there and flabbergast people left and right (but please don't use the tactic that was put forth in the e-mail, it's quite uncalled for to do that to everyone).

Grasping at Air

2007-02-28T15:27:00.000-08:00

“I am not an angry girl, but it seems I’ve got everyone fooled. Every time I say something they find hard to hear, they chalk it up to my anger and never to their own fear. Imagine you’re a girl just trying to come clean, knowing full well they’d prefer you were dirty and smiling.” Ani DiFranco – Not a Pretty Girl

Ani DiFranco is one of my heroes. If there was any woman that I could be like, it would be her. Her history is amazing, and she acts out the things that she believes. She is feisty, poetic, and won’t take shit from anyone. These are attributes that I’d like to have myself. Yet I find myself not having these attributes because I lack the self-confidence.
I feel as though I’m grasping at air when I try to change. Maybe the huge change that I made so violently and abruptly away from Christianity blistered my experience of change. It made me hesitant of the consequences of change. I think I did that change a little to harshly. I threw up my middle finger at all of Christianity and fled in the other direction with an extremely stubborn look on my face. I’m only recently relaxing that stubborn face and realizing that maybe I was a little over-dramatic about it. I did what I felt I had to and I did it in the only way I thought I could. But I see now that it was really very painful for a lot of people around me and alienated me from many of those whom I had been close to. It put a gap between me and Josh, it put a gap between me and Christina, it put a gap between me and my parents (although I’m still alright with that one). Probably the only person it didn’t bring a gap between was me and my brother Keith, in fact it brought us together because I finally pulled the stick out of my ass so that I could relate to him without thinking I was better.
I see now that I have much to come to terms with and accept about myself so that I can mend the riffs between myself and those that I love. For one thing, I need to relax on the defense. I have a tendency to assume people are attacking me and not supporting me. I need to have the strength to see and accept that there have been people who both supported me and encouraged me on this wild journey I’ve been on. These are the people that I must stop being so defensive with. These are the people to whom I owe an apology. This is important if I’m ever going to heal the damage from my traumatic change, settle into my own skin, and find the confidence that I feel I’m lacking. I also need to come to terms with and accept where I have come from, what my history has contributed to who I am, and let the past just be the past. I need to not assume that people are holding me up to the standard of who I used to be. And I need to learn to be confident enough in who I am now, that it wouldn’t matter if they did. I just need to put the past to rest, and with it my fears, insecurities, and trauma that arise from it. As Ani says, “If you like it, let it be, and if you don't please do the same.” I need to just fucking let it go.
Becoming the person that I dream about is hardly going to be easy. But in Josh’s words, “If you want something do it.” So I’m gonna do it.

One with the Blizzard

2007-02-20T22:05:00.000-08:00

President's Day weekend...a weekend filled with drinking, games, hot-tubbing, a river, two cute dogs, friends old and new, snowshoes and a blizzard. Josh and I went up to a cabin in Gold Bar, WA at the invite of the Button's. We enjoyed a raucous time of relaxation, good conversation, and games. There were ten of us up there along with two very handsome dogs. Although I must say, the highlight of the trip was the snowshoeing adventure. Now, I've always envisioned snowshoeing as an activity that is done on gently sloped trails that meander near lakes and beautiful, snow-laden trees. Well, we got the beautiful trees, more snow than I can describe and a blizzard to boot. Now what we didn't get was the gently sloping trail. Our trail was more like a switchback up the side of a steep, wind-swept mountain. As we broke past the tree-line (that should give you a clue as to our steep trek), I was rather entranced by the view from the upper half of this mountain, even though this view was glimpsed through eyes that had to squint to keep the torrents of snow from freezing my eyeballs. It was a physical challenge that I'm glad to say I did. It was also fun to get out of my city bubble and experience the rawness that is a snowy, windy, blizzardy (there I go inventing words again) mountain side. The majority of my body hasn't experienced any soreness yet. The exception being my shoulders and head. For some reason they decided this would be the time to throw an all out rebellion like I haven't felt in a quite a while. But it was worth it. I'll take a headache for some good old fashioned exercise out in nature any day.

My Beige Foot

2007-02-06T12:09:00.001-08:00

This video is great! Visit her website here

Missing Frames

2007-02-04T21:12:00.000-08:00

I sit here with my muse music rolling and my inspiration sitting before me wondering what musings I can pull out of this overcrowded brain of mine. Overcrowded may be an understatement. As a continual repressor, I keep everything inside my head. This has a tendency to lead toward mental congestion that can rival the freeways of Seattle. My brain runs slower and only the things that are most pressing get dealt with. Kind of like a computer whose memory is full yet there is more that needs to be processed. I feel like my brain stutters a lot. I’ll be focused on one thing when all the sudden the focus zooms to something else leaving me reeling and disoriented. It resembles a blip you see when a movie projector misses a frame on the reel. Like a portion of what I was thinking about got cut out and now I’m in a whole different part of the movie. I didn’t watch the preceding scenes for this part of the movie so the plot is lost on me and I’m left to fill in the blanks with wild assumptions which probably miss the whole point of the movie. I feel like I’m missing the whole point of life. Like I keep getting glimpses of it, but the projector keeps cutting out scenes and dumping me somewhere else. I feel like life is just a whole lot of my assumptions all bundled together and played as a feature film. But I don’t think my assumptions are right. There are holes in my logic and I have no feeling in this movie of life I have created. When did the feeling leave? Is it tucked away underneath the festering anger and frustration? Is it hidden in the deep depths of happiness and joy that are trapped in my ever repressive mind? And what is this feeling I’m looking for anyway? Is it contained in those frames that have been cut out of my life movie? Or did I just miss it somewhere along the journey?

This is my brain...

2007-02-01T21:40:00.000-08:00

...before I began studying for my atmospheric sciences mid-term. My brain looks like a perfectly delicious and ripe watermelon.

This is my brain after studying for my midterm...

I'm assuming you can see the dramatic change in my brain functioning. I think it got ran over by a train. The luscious watermelon crushed to bits by a flurry of train wheels (aka ATM science). And I do this to myself...why? This video sums it up nicely. Enjoy.

To all my fans...

2007-01-26T18:11:00.000-08:00

...who love me and want to be counted on my "Coolest people ever" list, make sure to go to JPG magazine's website and vote for my latest entry to the magazine. I entered a photo into the Entropy category. It's a rusting broken down truck that was in my brother's front yard in NM. Please go and vote for me, there is a link in the sidebar that shows the photo I entered. If you vote before the end of Jan, you can also vote for my two other pictures that I submitted last month. You do have to sign up on the JPG site to vote, but they are really good about not sending spam. Thanks for your support! I won't forget you when I'm famous! :)

The Awkwardness of Death

2007-01-24T20:58:00.000-08:00

How should a person talk about the fact that a loved one is dying? I have a tendency to be very forward with it and present it as what it is…the truth…my life. People are very caught off guard by this. Death is such an awkward topic and people skirt it as best they can. Two weeks ago I went to visit my oldest brother Jay. Jay is dying of AIDS. He’s been diagnosed for many years. He spent a good chunk of those years on the anti-viral drugs for AIDS and decided last year that he was done fighting the inevitable. He bit the bullet stopped the drugs and began the journey towards death. Not many people choose to start that journey. Not many people face death head on with anticipation. Then again, not many people have lived Jay’s life. Jay's life has been full of drugs, music, glitter, drama, and men. These are the things he loves and so he pursued them with abandon. He has lived his life to the fullest and has decided he’s ready to be done. No life support, no resuscitation…just him going when he goes. He’s very at peace. He told me that his only regret about the life he lived was how it affected his family and those who love him. He knows he is a selfish person…he told me so himself. He knows that his choices were hard on us as we watched him do harmful things to his body and now have to watch him die as a result of those choices. But he also told me he wouldn’t change a thing. If he could do it over again, he would do it all the same. In his words, “I had so much fucking fun!”
Our time together was great! We went to the casino and we talked and I learned things about our family that I never knew. I found out more about his life and his loves and things he’s done. We talked politics, fashion, family, history…we talked about life. I love him. This trip I found that I don’t just love my brother, I really like him. He’s freaking hilarious and he has such a rich life experience that gives him such a unique look on life. On some levels, his passing may be easier because of this trip because we left on great terms. But it also makes it harder because I really like my brother, and now I know what I’ll be missing when he’s gone.
And so I sit here wondering how to cope with my brother dying. Any day I could get the call that he officially has a fatal form of pneumonia and has only 2-3 days left. It’s so bitter-sweet. I wonder if this is how other people feel when a loved one is dying. A mixture of sadness, regret, and happiness: sad because I’ll miss him, regretful because we got our relationship started so late, and happy because he finally gets to go to the after-life that he can’t stop talking about. So many contradictions go whirling through my head: sadness and happiness, anger and peace, regret and thankfulness. No wonder death is such an awkward topic to talk about. It’s confusing to feel and think about, much less to formulate into words.

This Week's Forecast

2007-01-22T14:02:00.000-08:00

So today is Monday. Only Monday. My boss stops by my office this afternoon and asks how I'm doing. I say ok. He says, "You look tired, you been staying out too late?" The first thing that pops into my head is, "It's been a long week." I think...wait it's only Monday. So, instead, I say, " It was a long weekend." He laughs and walks on down the hallway. I sit and ponder that if it's only Monday...and I'm already feeling like it's been a long week...It's really gonna be a looong week.

Things you don't expect to hear...

2007-01-22T13:53:00.000-08:00

Today I overheard this snippet of conversation between a couple of people discussing global warming.
"Do you ever watch the Weather Channel?"
"No, but I know there's a naked weather channel."
"No, it's not the naked weather channel, it's the naked news channel."

Socialite

2007-01-17T13:40:00.000-08:00

Something strange has been occurring in the cosmos and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. For some reason, random strangers have decided that I look like someone who they really need to interact with. In the last three days, two different people have sat near me and struck up random conversations when I was clearly doing something else. The first occurred on my trip home from NM (a different post will come after I process that one a little more.) I had a whole row of three seats all to myself. It was a glorious moment in the realm of cheap flights. So I took full advantage and stretched my legs out while I did some processing of thoughts on my laptop. An older lady came up the aisle and practically sat on my feet. She didn't say anything. Didn't even look at me. She ordered a rum and just sat there drinking. So I kept writing. Then about 15 minutes later (I think she'd had enough rum to be social by then), she struck up a conversation with me, even though I had headphones on and was staring at my computer. She proceeded to tell me all about her trip to Cancun and how she wasn't looking forward to going back to Canada and work. She's from Vancouver. Then she continued to talk my ear off for the duration of the flight. THen she left and that was that. I thought...Wow, that was really wierd.
Then today I was sitting in one of the many eating areas on campus and a young lady asks if she can sit with me because of how crowded the area was. I had my headphones on and was doing a Sudoku puzzle. I said sure and she sat down and preceeded to ignore her lunch and talk to me. Her opening question was..."So, are you a freshman?" That's when you know it's gonna be a good conversation. Conversations that start like this always end up with the other person being very embarrassed when I tell them, "Actually I'm a senior, I'm 25, and I've been married for 4 years." Apparently I only look like I'm 19. So she talked my ear off for the next 45 min. I just don't know what is going on. I keep checking in the mirror to see if maybe I have "Socialite" written across my forhead, but I don't. I don't really mind that people strike up random conversations, but it's just strange to have it happen twice in three days, when it rarely happens at all to me. Like I said before, I think there's something amiss in the cosmos.

Salty Anger

2007-01-09T21:45:00.000-08:00

As I am learning to recover from the deep, dark recesses of repression, I'm coming to see how much anger I keep pent up inside. My family has a history of anger and poor anger management. It runs on my mom's side. My mom got it from her father. Apparently their relationship was so bad, that my mother can hardly say anything good about my grandfather, even though he's been dead for 40 years. My mother's anger was an off and on part of the majority of my childhood. It is within the context of this family history that I began to recognize how angry I am. I am angry a lot. I'm easily frustrated. And I always repress it. As I seek to abolish this repression, I must embark on a journey of anger management and expression. What are healthy ways of managing and expressing anger? I don't know, cause I've never seen them before. I was never taught how to handle anger. So now I find I have a legacy of anger in the past, a present full of anger, and a future with no coping skills. This isn't looking so good for me. But tonight I began to find some release, some small way to draw the anger to the surface and wash it away. It all started with a science class. An Atmospheric Science Class to be more precise. A quote from my professor, "Think of Science as a country to which you are visiting. In order to understand the country you must speak the language. Math is the language of science." The subsequent thoughts that went through my head were, "Oh Shit!" I haven't taken math in 5 years. The last math I took was Algebra. My professor is talking in class about how we'll probably recognize this equation from high school calculus. Yet another "Oh Shit!" from me since I never took Calculus, and even if I had, it would have been 8 years ago. I'm fucked. Hence how a science class could begin my process of anger management. I was so frustrated with an assignment for that class tonight, that I went downstairs to use my punching bag (my favorite Christmas present this year). My anger fully surfaced at my own inadequacies, at the class, at math, at stereotypes of women who aren't good at math. I punched...and I punched...and I punched. I punched until the anger was pouring out of me in sweat and in tears. I punched till my fingers hurt and my heart was ready to explode. I punched till the anger subsided and I felt some release. My anger came out in salty droplets, and I took one small step towards the death of repression.

I kick ass!

2007-01-03T15:42:00.000-08:00

Check this out...I'm Superwoman! Yeah baby! I can fly and beat bad people up, yet I have a darker side since Catwoman is next on the list. Sweet. I dig it! My one feminist tidbit that I must throw out there is that she is definitely Superwoman, not Supergirl. I definitely don't think that she would qualify as a "girl" according to the picture they give, at least I've never seen a girl with that big of boobs or muscles. We don't call Superman Superboy, so let's extend the same respect to his female counterpart. I couldn't help myself, it bothered me.
Your results:
You are Supergirl

Supergirl		75%
Catwoman		70%
Spider-Man		65%
Hulk		65%
Robin		60%
Green Lantern		55%
Superman		55%
Wonder Woman		40%
The Flash		30%
Batman		25%
Iron Man		25%

Lean, muscular and feminine.
Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

The Christmas blur

2007-01-02T17:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas comes and goes faster and faster the older I get. It is quite amazing really. Recently, I have begun to see Christmas differently. I have more of a tendency to be dissatisfied with the commercialism and consumeristic nature of Christmas. In an attempt to make some peace between the dislike of consumerism and the need to buy presents for people, Josh and I tried to buy gifts that we knew would be used and that were experientially based. We bought tickets to theatres, ski resorts, and golf courses. We figured at least that felt a little less commercialized.

The picture above was taken on our way to Idaho. We stopped at the top of the Meacham pass, because the valley below was filled with thick, dense fog. It was beautiful!

Our Christmas in Idaho visiting Josh's family was a grand time. There was good food, good talks, and a very cute little girl! It snowed a couple days before Christmas, so we got to go up to Mom's cabin for sledding. Ally didn't want to go sledding at all. They had her try it once, cause you have to try everything once. She cried the whole way down. Then after she got inside the cabin she couldn't stop talking about sledding and how great it was.

I was sad to miss spending Christmas with my own family, but time and money did not allow it. My niece, Kya, is painfully adorable with mounds of curly hair.

I'm going to see her in March and I'm very excited. Keith and Steph send me pictures and I'm amazed at how much she is growing.
Over-all Christmas was good. We were constantly serenaded by Ally's version of Jingle Bells that was punctuated with a very enthusiastic HEY! after every couple of words. We relaxed and enjoyed being with family and playing in the snow. Long live relaxation, snow play, and Jingle Bells.

Moseying About

2006-12-13T21:37:00.000-08:00

Tonight is a slow night. A slow night filled with video games and tinkering with our camera. Christmas will be madness, so I'm enjoying the slow pace while I can. Here's to relaxation and kicking back.

I almost thought I was dying

2006-12-08T20:02:00.000-08:00

So I have had sporadic and somewhat abnormal hiccups for many years now. I have never known what causes them, but I often get just one hiccup at random times (I call them strays), or I'll get really strong one's for several minutes. I have been thinking recently about finding out what causes them so I can understand my body and it's strange obsession with hiccups. So this evening I decided to look it up. The first site I looked at said this:
"The medical cause of hiccups can include abdominal distention, brainstem lesions, cancer of the stomach, dilatation of the stomach, gastritis, increased intracranial pressure, pancreatitis, irritation of the lining of the lungs, and kidney failure."
Needless to say, the thought crossed my overdramatic mind that I may, in fact, be dying or need to be rushed to the hospital. Luckily my pragmatic mind set in and convinced me to check out a few more sites first. Good thing I did. I found out that I don't have a brainstem lesion or cancer of the stomach. I just have a tendency to irritate my phrenic nerve, which controls my diaphragm. Well, that's not so bad. Maybe the hiccups won't kill me after all.

Donating Clicks not Money

2006-12-04T18:07:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I hate Christmas because of the consumerism and the amount of money I spend on things that will likely not be used or used minimally. Christmas makes me feel like throwing consumerism out the window and living in a small tent in the woods and utilizing SAS Survival Handbook. And yet, just like every other year, I will find myself buying presents for those I love and celebrating Christmas with my family. The issue that remains is that I want to do more for those who are not my family or loved ones. I want to help people and organizations that are working to better the world I live in. I want to give, yet I do not have the financial ability to give money. So, LifeHacker provided me with the small way that I can help contribute to organizations I support without having to tap into my pocket book. They suggest clicking on advertisements on organization's websites. those advertisers then give money to the charity for each click a day. The site Charity Clicks has compiled lists of some organizations for different causes and you can click on 10-20 sites in about 15 minutes. While my finances may not survive much charitable giving at this time, I have plenty of time and clicking that I can give.

For those who like to vote...

2006-12-03T21:31:00.000-08:00

I have submitted a picture of mine to a photo magazine for possible printage. The magazine is very cool and they only take pictures that have not been doctored. I may be submitting a few more for other categories, but I submitted one for the Street category. I'd love any of your votes for my picture as that helps in the selection process. Whether mine gets published or not...it's still fun to get my photos out there for others to see. There is a link to the site for JPG Magazine in my sidebar beneath my links. You have to sign up in order to vote, but their pretty good about no spam. Thanks all!

A few more comments about the snow...

2006-11-28T17:05:00.000-08:00

My snow experience this week has been quite grand, but I must admit there are a few things about Seattle and snow that I find to be quite ridiculous. I grew up in a town in New Mexico where we got a good amount of snow every winter. My first experience of driving with my permit was in the snow in a parking lot where my dad made me skid and swerve on the ice, so I would know how the car reacts on ice and how I should react to the car, etc. Well, today I had to run some errands and I was reminded of one reason I don't care for snow in a city where it rarely snows. As I was driving down a slightly, but not too icy street the three SUV's in front of me were insistent on going 10 mph. Now let me clarify, these were SUV's with 4 wheel drive, going 10 mph. Had it been a two wheel drive car, or a motorcycle, or a bicycle, I would've understood, but SUV's, come on people. If you're going to buy an SUV with 4 wheel drive, please learn how to use it just in case it ever snows in your near vicinity. My second observation about snow and Seattle is that on the UW campus there were still a fair amount of women who decided it was still necessary to wear high heels when there were 2 inches of ice on the ground. I found this amusing, but quite odd. I would think it would be difficult and uncomfortable to walk around in heels on the ice, but to each their own I suppose.
I have a few more pictures from the snow that I took today, and one of them is of the holly tree we have in our front yard now. I have never seen a holly tree before, so it's a bit of a novelty. One shows the road conditions...lots of ice. And the other is a sidewalk shot of our street.

I love snow!

2006-11-27T21:57:00.000-08:00

Here are some of those pictures of the snow that I said I would post. Hhhmmm...I love snow. The stuff from last night melted, but we got more this afternoon and evening, so I pulled out the trusty tri-pod and lugged it around my neighborhood to snap some photos. I love snow.

Unexpected Surprize

2006-11-26T23:30:00.000-08:00

Today I received a fantabulous surprise. It snowed! Now for those who may not live in the Seattle area, this may not seem like a very big deal. But for those of us who live in the rainy city, snow very rarely sticks enough to actually be considered snow, and even when it does, it's usually February, not November. And so there is reason to be excited about even one inch of snow (which is about how much we probably got)since we so rarely see it in the city. So today was monumental! I was so very excited that I stood out in the snow for about ten minutes, just watching it fall. It was great. I'll probably wake up only to walk through a slushy mess on my way to school, but at least I got snow tonight. Pictures will come tomorrow if, infact, the snow hasn't melted or been washed away by 9:00am or so. I love snow.

This is inspiring.

2006-11-20T20:12:00.001-08:00

As much as I'm not a huge fan of country music, this video and song is great! The Dixie Chicks wrote this in response the the strong reactions to their statement "Just so you know, we're ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas." But I think the message can be interpreted for many different situations where women are told to keep quiet for one reason or another. If you want to read the lyrics, you can find them here.

The ever-so-faithful dictionary.

2006-11-16T17:41:00.001-08:00

dictionary-definition
Originally uploaded by Mind the Gap Cardiff Feminists.

People often assume that a feminist is a radical liberal woman who burns bras (no need to update that 30 year old stereotype), has dabbled in lesbianism, promotes abortions by having them, and who hates men because they are the root of all evil. This is not the case for the majority of feminists. There are some radicals, but the majority of feminists recognize that women still are not treated equally within our larger society and that something should be done to fix that. Feminism is not just for women, nor do all feminists hate men. Feminism is a state of mind that often leads to action. This is a state of mind that can be held by anyone. Sometimes the dictionary can bring us back to what's essential.

So little time...so little brain power.

2006-11-14T23:33:00.000-08:00

Yet again I will rant about my brain being sucked dry. Only this time school is the culprit, not the torturous endeavor of moving. And instead of my brain just being sucked out by a shop vac, it is then refilled with large words that I don't understand and that relate in no way to my daily life. This is the process of philosophisizing (I think I just created a word...maybe I am cut out to be an academic after all). And so I turn to a little recreational writing to fight off the uninterpretable words and remember that I live a life that is comprised of real people, real experiences, and my own thoughts.
Life has been moving at a very fast pace and I'm having a hard time keeping up. There are many things that have been reminding me that time flies, and that my sorry ass is way too slow. We went to visit Nate and Julie, my brother and sister in-law, and our niece, Ally, this weekend and she's huge. She is two and a half and so talkative and independent. She's growing so fast, and it reminds me that time is running rampant. Then I think of my other niece, Kya, who is two and a half also. I think of how I haven't seen her in almost a year, and how many precious stages I've missed in her life. Time, once again, kicking my ass. Then I think of how my oldest brother is dying of AIDS and how he's been fighting it for at least 8 years. He has almost died many times, yet this time he has chosen not to fight, but to live the last of his life, then end it, on his own terms. Yet again time seems to be getting the best of me since I can't seem to find the time to process that he's dying or to be there for him as he goes through this terribly rough time. How do I catch up? How do I catch the things in my life that seem to fly by me like a hurricane? How do I keep up with the rapid growth of nieces that I see so infrequently? How can I be present with my dying brother as he navigates issues and choices that few will ever face? How do I navigate the whirlpool of time? These are questions that I ponder.
And yet, even these questions must be postponed to a later contemplation time, since I have an exam to study for. There just doesn't seem to be enough time for all the things that are important to me.

65 years old...

2006-11-08T14:37:00.000-08:00

...and she still looks amazing in star spangled hotpants! Wonder Woman has been fighting injustice for 65 years and the Seattle Times has a tribute to her in today's paper. I am a big fan of Wonder Woman. She was one of the first heroines in comic book history, which is an accomplishment all in itself. She has survived 65 years of circulation, and although she has been "made-over" many times, her legacy of equality and justice have lived on.
In her honor, I have posted some of my favorite pictures of her. Long live the Amazonian, truth-lasso wielding, bullet-proof bracelet wearing, kick-ass Wonder Woman!

A tribute to Wonder Woman

2006-11-08T14:34:00.001-08:00

Because she kicks ass like no one else!

Oh glorious sunshine!

2006-11-08T13:36:00.000-08:00

Today the sun finally came out. It has been a dark week and a half. Not to mention, stormy, rainy, windy, and really wet! We moved last weekend to a new house that we are renting. It should be fantabulously fun to have a new place (especially cause we can get a puppy!!), but moving is like having you're brain sucked out of your head with a shop vac. We've dedicated the last week to moving. We have done little else. In fact, I spent 8 hours yesterday catching up on homework cause I haven't done any in a week. All this to say that I'm really glad the sun came out today. I needed it. It made me a little happier and eased the insanity of the last week. We only have tonight to finish cleaning our old apartment, then we're done. Hooray!

Things that make me smile

2006-10-30T14:53:00.001-08:00

I'm gonna get it!
Originally uploaded by madgiddy.

Hehehehe...how can you not love a garden statue of a dog's ass?

Things you don't expect...

2006-10-29T08:49:00.000-08:00

...to see at the movie theater: the paper plate you're pretzel is being cooked on bursting into flame. Yes, my pretzel started a fire at the theater last night. I know...I should be famous or something. The guy cooking my pretzel had never done it before and put the paper plate in the pretzel warmer with the pretzel. Next thing I know, my paper plate and pretzel are on fire, and I am forced to wait another 10 minutes while the guy gets chewed out and then makes me another pretzel. It was quite an experience really. Although I think they need to attach a warning to paper plates: Flammable! Do not put in pretzel warmer! May catch fire.

Quote for the day

2006-10-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

I just read a quote from Mae West, an actress in the 1930's, that made me feel warm and squishy inside.
"Every man I meet wants to protect me. Can't figure out what from."
I'd never heard of her before I read this quote, and now I love her!

Things that make me smile...

2006-10-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

A bumper sticker that reads, "Stupidity should hurt."

Truth and Lies

2006-10-25T20:18:00.000-07:00

In my Sociology of Sexuality class, we've been talking about the idea that sexuality and gender roles are constructs of society...there's those academic words again. Meaning that the definitions of sexuality and gender are malleable and change depending on what society or time period they are located within. So pre-marital sex is considered bad now, but it hasn't always been. Ancient Romans considered pre-marital sex to be healthy...at least before Constantine came around (kill-joy!). So it is only because of how our society is set up, that pre-marital sex is considered bad.
Within this conversation, my professor gave a quote by a famous sociologist, W.I. Thomas. He said, "What is seen as real, is real in it's consequences." My professor elaborated on this by exploring the idea that the paradigm that we choose to view life is often as powerful as any truth. So even if something can't be "proven" as true, it can still hold powerful sway with it's consequences. I thought of patriarchy. Although it cannot be proven that men are better in any way than women, the idea that men are better than women has had powerful effects on our society. The fact of its falsity does not negate the immensely real consequences that patriarchy brings. So if enough people believe that a lie is true or real...then the consequences of that action or theory can create a power that rivals what has been proven true.
You know, for all our "scientific objectivity", we sure have a hard time telling lies from the truth.

Academic Ramblings

2006-10-24T17:35:00.000-07:00

My brain is filled with academic ramblings of words like dichotomy, binary, analysis, social location, gender roles, socialization, androcentrism, essentialism, and patriarchy. My thoughts are filled with ideas of post-positivist realist theories of identity, drag as gender performance, structural oppression, medicalization of bodies, sexual and gender “deviance,” and identity politics. These are some of the ideas and terms that I play with on a daily basis within my Women’s Studies classes. These are terms that have come to change the ways that I feel about being a woman and about being myself. These are the ideas and terms I have used to learn about my anger. See, I am studying Women’s Studies so that I can understand why I’m so angry, so often. I’m studying it to gain words to express my anger at the way I’m treated and talked to because I am a woman. I’m studying it to gain knowledge and words to express the fear that comes with being a woman. These are the ideas that I hope will help me understand and communicate why inhabiting a body that has a uterus, a vagina, and a pair of boobs does not make me a second-class citizen, a sexualized object, or an emotional, irrational disaster.
But these words and ideas do not translate well into the real world. These ideas and terms must be twisted and reworked many times over in order to make sense in any situation other than academia. In fact, they require several forms of translation before I can make them more than just a paper I’m writing or a theory I’m reading. Incorporating these ideas into tangible forms of living is difficult. They are academic terms and ideas that can be amazing and mind blowing and intriguing, yet they are often very distanced from the situations I encounter on a daily basis.
And so I find that my anger has not subsided. I still do not fully possess the words and the skills to express my anger and release it. I feel I am much closer, but true release eludes me because I am left with ideas and theories that only make sense in the academic realm of my life. Where is my Women’s Studies handbook that will translate academic terms and theories into ideas and terms that make sense in the world around me? Oh the money I’d pay for such a book!

True Beauty

2006-10-17T20:36:00.000-07:00

So what does it take to be beautiful? According to this site true beauty can only be found (even for the super skinny models) after a few clicks of the mouse. Real live women are never beautiful enough. Enhancements and detractions must be made.

A fantastic joke...

2006-10-17T20:24:00.000-07:00

My sister-in-law, Steph, sent me this joke a long time ago. I love it so much that it has been sitting in my inbox for over a year and every now and then I read it for a good hearty laugh.

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why?, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh. shit.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

2006-10-16T17:58:00.000-07:00

dove evolution

Got this from Feministing...amazing!

More on Violence

2006-10-16T17:51:00.000-07:00

So I found this article written by Bob Herbert on misogyny and the pervasive acceptance of violence against women and girls. Check it out...it's good.

A phrase to repeat...often.

2006-10-13T18:01:00.000-07:00

So I was reading in one of my articles for my Geography/Women's Studies class, and I came across this great phrase. It's one of those phrases that just makes me happy and resonates with me. It almost makes me as happy as ice cream...almost. The article was talking about the goods and bads of living in the city vs. suburbs. Towards the end the author says that although the city can provide many women with work and activity outside of the home, it should not be considered something that will release them from "the straightjackets of domesticity." Oh it's so perfect!

Why don't you just change it?!

2006-10-11T23:17:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about safety, my safety, women’s safety, etc. I co-lead a class discussion today about women’s safety in the city. We touched on many different points about safety and violence against women. One of the main points was that different people will feel different places are safe or dangerous depending on their race, class, gender, sexual orientation, ability, age, etc. Many of the women in my class shared stories of times they were followed, stalked, threatened, intimidated, attacked, or just plain scared. The few men in the class were very respectful of what these women feared and why. But there was one (there always is, isn’t there?) who made a statement that angered me. We were talking about how women respond to threatening situations differently then men do, because of how we’ve been socialized to be passive, receptive, and “ladylike”. Standing up for ourselves and challenging threats is not something most women learn as we grow up. Also, women have much more to fear from threatening situations because of sexual assault and rape, which happens more to women than men (although it does happen to men and that is a serious topic in itself). So this guy's response to our discussion was “So why don’t you just change it?” and he said this in a way that implied we were stupid for being afraid and not being as bold and brave as he is. I wanted to holler “What the fuck do you think women have been doing for the last 30 years? You think those rape crisis clinics and domestic violence help lines were started by men?” But my personal goal in this class has been to hold back and use my arguments and reasonings I’ve been learning to make my points instead of lashing out in anger and rage. So, the women in the group attempted to point out why we can’t “just change” our responses to violence and threats.
But his response underpins a huge issue within the topic of violence against women. He assumed that it was our job as women to toughen up and take it like a man. He assumed it was our job to change the problem as women. Not his job as a man. Men commit the crimes, can we not expect them to take responsibility for their actions and try to change? Now I don’t mean to use the term "men" to mean all men, cause I know there are men who do not commit violence against women and put effort into educating themselves and other men. But a larger majority of men aren’t making that effort and don’t even think about it. Women’s safety is a women’s issue to them. We need to protect ourselves and not get into vulnerable situations. Women need to do all the work to change a society that tacitly approves of the violence that happens to them, while men sit on their asses and ignore the atrocities their fellow men are committing. It’s a load of bull shit.
For any men who may be intereseted in the role they can play in ending violence against women, check out the book The Macho Paradox by Jackson Katz.

Gauntlet

2006-10-08T01:11:00.000-07:00

While playing the Xbox game Gauntlet, there were many strange things that were hollered aloud. Many of these things were quite embarrassing shortly after they had been spoken and the laughter went on and on.
"I love my rocks!"
"I've got a vibrator here!"
"Look guys I'm tapping the monkey!"
And the one that rules the evening,
"I have to hold my skirt up while I come."
Tehetehetehe.

Things you don't expect to hear...

2006-10-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

...coming from your living room: "Hey, you killed me with a noodler!" This was stated quite loudly by Josh while he was playing Halo2 with Souren and Paul. I thought to myself, "Hmmm, there's something you don't hear everyday."

Spacey

2006-10-05T20:29:00.000-07:00

Spacey
Originally uploaded by madgiddy.

Josh took this photo from a building he's been working in recently. Isn't it gorgeous?!

Another day of Craziness

2006-10-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

School has begun. Along with school comes constant homework and extra issues to think through and ponder. I have come to realize how much school changes the way I think. I am in Women's Studies because I love it. The information I learn is great, and the way it stretches my mind makes me feel like I'm constantly shifting. As much as I love this feeling, it takes up much of my time. Not only do I think about what I learn in classes so I can pass tests and write papers and make presentations, but much of what I learn I have to struggle with internally inorder to decide what I my opinions are on that subject and should I adjust my actions and lifestyle accordingly. Much of what I learn doesn't get just cateloged for test use, but becomes a part of who I am and how I see the world. This takes up lots of extra time that I would normally dedicate to hobbies. I have a harder time fitting in blogging, photography, reading, collaging, or hobbies of any sort. So my posts here may be a little scarcer, but I'm gonna try to make posts on things that I learn in my classes and other little tidbits that strike my fancy. All this to say, this blog is an experiment for me. I suppose we will see what will become of it in time.

I'm a wanna be photo journalist...

2006-09-25T23:41:00.000-07:00

...so I have begun a Flickr account for sharing photos that I have taken. Please feel free to check them out. I will be updating them fairly often (at least that is the goal), so please check it out and let me know if any of you are on Flickr as well. Just click here to go to my page.

Seasons Change

2006-09-20T17:38:00.000-07:00

My friend Rachelle is an avid season celebrator. For each equinox she hosts a party or a dinner or a get together or an outing. She loves to mark the seasons and be attentive to life changes that occur with the changing of the weather. It is her love of the seasons that has rubbed off on me this season. I am usually a summer girl. I love flip-flops, tank tops, warm weather, sunshine, outdoors, festivals, and summer fruits. But this fall...I'm ready. I'm ready to be inside more. I'm ready to wear sweaters and closed toed shoes. I'm ready for the rain and for school...really ready. I'm ready to be comtemplative while I drink my tea and cuddle with a good blanket. I'm ready for oranges and browns and more darkness. These changes feel so right to me this year. Today has been rainy, cold, windy, and absolutely perfect! So I decided to venture out with my camera to capture the last vestiges of summer before the full onset of fall.

Things you don't expect...

2006-09-20T16:02:00.000-07:00

...to hear your boss say as you walk by his office: "Men are so emotional...especially when it concerns their balls."

Equality in Action!

2006-09-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

So as I was purusing Feministing, a favorite feminist blog of mine, I read a post about this law that is being enacted in Spain. Apparently the law will require that all married men perform half the household duties, childcare, and care of elderly family. The requirements will be put within the marriage licenses of all civil marriages. Pretty crazy huh?! BBC has an article on the law, and it sounds pretty cool. Who knows how enforcement will go, but apparently if the man doesn't comply, things won't go so well for him if there is a divorce.

They Might Be Giants

2006-09-13T12:19:00.000-07:00

I was listening to They Might be Giants this morning and was reminded of the videos that Tiny Toons made of Istanbul and Particle Man. So I went a short but sweet quest for them. I attempted to post them straight onto my blog, but for some reason youtube was giving me some grief. So go here for Istanbul and here for Particle Man. Enjoy!

The Cutest Girls Ever!

2006-09-05T20:43:00.000-07:00

So as a very proud and loving aunt, I must post pictures of my nieces in order to show the world (or the small part of it that reads this) just how adorable they really are!

For Those Who Need Convincing...

2006-09-03T10:58:00.000-07:00

Two reasons why I love Seattle.

The Human Body

2006-09-03T09:58:00.000-07:00

At a mall in downtown, they have a small trapeeze and rope show everynight at 6 during the summer. The guys who do the act are from a local dinner/theater/circus called Teatro ZinZanni. We went to see the show yesterday, and the men did the most amazing tricks using just their own bodies and a rope or piece of cloth. They twisted their bodies in the rope then would release and fall 20 feet and end up hanging by one leg that was wrapped in the rope. They would make their body become horizontal to the rope while hodling on with just one arm. It was amazing how flexible and strong their bodies were. When they got on the trapeeze, they would both hang upside down by their feet, or one guy would hang from the other guys feet. But the most impressive of all was when one of the guys hung from the trapeeze with only the back of his neck and head. He held his entire body on a trapeeze with his neck! Talk about control. The show was beautiful, and I couldn't help thinking how amazing the human body is.

Happy Birthday to Me!!

2006-08-29T21:45:00.000-07:00

On my birthday, I was given a fantastic gift. Josh and I went to the Tool concert at the Gorge.
Now Josh has been a Tool fan for a long time. I'm more of a newbie who has only recently begun to listen to Tool and appreciate their amazing musical talent. I was never allowed to listen to “secular” music when I was younger, so I missed out on some of the amazing music that happened in the 80’s and 90’s. I knew little of the wonders of Pearl Jam or Nirvana or Tool. Although these bands shaped the genre of music I love now, I am only recently discovering my appreciation for them. Since I have begun listening to Tool, I have been amazed by Maynard’s vocal talent. The vocals in a band have always been the selling point for me. If the vocals are good, I love the band. If I don’t like the vocals, the band has a slim chance of making my favorites list. Maynard’s vocals are amazing and his control over his voice is fantastic. This is what the man has dedicated his life to and boy does it show.
The concert began with three hours of waiting in line and two hours of sitting in the bowl of the Gorge. It was hot, but nothing that a few super-humans, like Josh and I, couldn’t handle. When Tool came on stage, the crowd of over 20,000 people began to scream uncontrollably. The stage was all white with a white backing that extended behind the band members. As the music started, the crowd began to sing the first song with Maynard and the white background and floor exploded in a myriad of undulating colors that didn’t stop for the next two hours. All that could be seen of the band (from where we were anyways) was the outline of the band members and of Maynard as he danced sporadically to the music and the sound of his own voice. It was entrancing. One of those scenes which requires pure willpower to peel your eyes away from. When they ended the first time (before the encore), 20,000 people stood screaming for more. Then out came thousands of lighters as the fans chanted the name of a band they love. It was amazing.
This concert ranks up on the list of best concerts ever…in fact…it might take the top spot. The music was captivating, Maynard’s voice was captivating, and the videos were captivating. When it was all over, my first two thoughts were, “Talk about sensory overload,” and “That was fucking awesome!!” My next thought was…”Happy Birthday to me!!!!”

Attempting to Live in the Moment

2006-08-28T22:34:00.000-07:00

Tonight I sit and wonder about what it means to be present. I have a problem being present. It seems to be something that has slipped off my to-do list. It seems to have been forgotten. What does it mean to be present? What does that look like for me and am I brave enough to experience the bad and the good that occurs in the present? This is what I struggle with. I want to be present, but there is something about it that scares me…that keeps me from abandoning all and letting loose. I think I fear the fluidity, the constant change, the ebb and flow which often feels like insanity in my head. If I live in the moment, I will have to claim that insanity as my own; I will have to learn to live with the chaos that resides within my mind. Living in the present sounds messy and uncontrollable.
I was talking with Josh a while ago about being a nymph and what kind of nymph I would be. Josh thought a tree nymph, I thought a water nymph. As I have been thinking about it more, I don’t think I could be a water nymph because I couldn’t handle the constant motion, the constant change, the feeling of not having control. I like to plant my roots and hold firm. I like to hold on to what I know and enjoy it. I like the familiarity and the stillness of being in one place for awhile. Yet I am beginning to see the advantages to the water. Water is ever-changing and flexible. It can fill any space and be comfortable there. It flows wherever it can, and it is both terrifying and peaceful at the same time. I feel I need to embrace my inner water nymph, because flexibility is crucial to living in the present. I need to learn to embrace the fluidity and the changes that scare me so much and keep me from fully experiencing my own life.

My personality

2006-08-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

I took a personality test to see just how fantastically wonderful I am. All in all I think the test is pretty acurate. I enjoy personality tests cause I can either shape them to appear the way I want by answering falsly, or I can answer truthfully and get an outside view of who I am. It's always good to get a little outside perspective to add balance to my own perspective.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		56%
Stability		66%
Orderliness		36%
Accommodation		43%
Interdependence		90%
Intellectual		43%
Mystical		30%
Artistic		43%
Religious		36%
Hedonism		70%
Materialism		43%
Narcissism		36%
Adventurousness		36%
Work ethic		23%
Self absorbed		50%
Conflict seeking		43%
Need to dominate		16%

Romantic		36%
Avoidant		43%
Anti-authority		70%
Wealth		30%
Dependency		36%
Change averse		36%
Cautiousness		63%
Individuality		70%
Sexuality		76%
Peter pan complex		43%
Physical security		83%
Physical Fitness		64%
Histrionic		23%
Paranoia		43%
Vanity		43%
Hypersensitivity		56%
Female cliche		36%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Oh Canada!

2006-08-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

Canada proved to be the perfect place for us to take our summer vacation. We had a great time relaxing and hanging out with our friends Christina and Michael. It was a fantastic five days filled with hiking, kyaking, watching movies, playing games, looking for seals, taking pictures (I think our end total was 600 pics!), soaking in the hottub, and all around relaxing. One of my favorite activities on this trip was soaking in the hottub, because the picture to the right was our view from it...are you jealous yet? Needless to say it was difficult to come back to the land of full-time work, but that's life.
I think my other favorite part was the kyaking. That was a lot of fun and something that I've never done before. It's one of those activities that left me feeling like I had conquered something that I didn't know I was capable of. It gave me a sense of accomplishment with a little ego boost on the side. Another key to the success of our kyaking trip was the fact that we were color coordinated...cause that's always very important!

Over all, I would strongly reccommend the Sunshine Coast to any who are looking for a great vacation spot. We stayed at the Island Cottage in Sechelt (pronounced see-chelt, and mispronounced sea-salt) and it was fantastic.

2006-08-15T22:11:00.000-07:00

Check...Check...is this thing on?