The Path of the Crazy
Una persona loca se habla. Una persona sabia se conoce bien.
A crazy person talks to herself. A wise person knows herself well.
It is necessary to be crazy on the path to being wise. In order to know yourself well, you must talk to yourself often. How else will you come to know yourself? And so on my path to wisdom I rant to myself and share it with you.
I'm 25. I am just finishing school, yet I'm going to be continuing school. I don't have my shit together...at all. There is so much I want to do...travel, experience other cultures, see grand things...yet I'm also content to hang out with my friends and play videogames and talk. I try to think of what I really want. If I was dying would I go out and do some drastic, dangerous thing that I had never done before, or would I hole myself up with the people I love most and just sit and talk about them and me and life? Honestly...I think I'd choose to sit with those I love and just be. I would like a life of adventure and traveling, but I don't know if that will really happen. I don't know if I want that lifestyle right now enough to sacrifice the people that I love for it. If we travel and have these grand adventures, I'd miss our nieces’ childhoods, Eden and Cate's childhood and adolescence. I'd miss out on many things in the lives of my friends and family. I'm just not sure it's worth it to me. Also...traveling and having adventures requires a fair amount of planning, money, and effort...things I'm not known to have a lot of.
I'm 25. People tell me that's not old. They say I'm still young and have plenty of time. Yet within the next five years there are a lot of decisions that need to made about starting a family, making a career doing something I enjoy, things I'd like to pursue both with Josh and on my own, etc. Before we decide on those things I need to figure out who I am and what I want. I don't know who I am or what I want. Will I ever know those things...probably not fully, but I'd feel better about moving forward, if I at least had a temporary plan. This is who I am for now and this is what I want for now...With plenty of room for change later.
I'm 25. Life lays out before me and I have no idea what to do with it. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Yet I'm struck with the fact that I don't want life to just happen to me. I want to be an active agent in my own life. I don't need a rigid plan with time schedules and diagrams. I just want a little direction and a little security. I would like to know what I want...to know myself.
A crazy person talks to herself. A wise person knows herself well.
It is necessary to be crazy on the path to being wise. In order to know yourself well, you must talk to yourself often. How else will you come to know yourself? And so on my path to wisdom I rant to myself and share it with you.
I'm 25. I am just finishing school, yet I'm going to be continuing school. I don't have my shit together...at all. There is so much I want to do...travel, experience other cultures, see grand things...yet I'm also content to hang out with my friends and play videogames and talk. I try to think of what I really want. If I was dying would I go out and do some drastic, dangerous thing that I had never done before, or would I hole myself up with the people I love most and just sit and talk about them and me and life? Honestly...I think I'd choose to sit with those I love and just be. I would like a life of adventure and traveling, but I don't know if that will really happen. I don't know if I want that lifestyle right now enough to sacrifice the people that I love for it. If we travel and have these grand adventures, I'd miss our nieces’ childhoods, Eden and Cate's childhood and adolescence. I'd miss out on many things in the lives of my friends and family. I'm just not sure it's worth it to me. Also...traveling and having adventures requires a fair amount of planning, money, and effort...things I'm not known to have a lot of.
I'm 25. People tell me that's not old. They say I'm still young and have plenty of time. Yet within the next five years there are a lot of decisions that need to made about starting a family, making a career doing something I enjoy, things I'd like to pursue both with Josh and on my own, etc. Before we decide on those things I need to figure out who I am and what I want. I don't know who I am or what I want. Will I ever know those things...probably not fully, but I'd feel better about moving forward, if I at least had a temporary plan. This is who I am for now and this is what I want for now...With plenty of room for change later.
I'm 25. Life lays out before me and I have no idea what to do with it. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Yet I'm struck with the fact that I don't want life to just happen to me. I want to be an active agent in my own life. I don't need a rigid plan with time schedules and diagrams. I just want a little direction and a little security. I would like to know what I want...to know myself.
Labels: Rants
posted by Tonya at 9:28 PM
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